I entered my senior year of high school with about 12 credits and half of those I managed to half ass in credit make up my junior year. I slacked off A LOT my first 2 and a half years of high school gaining a credit my freshmen year and 3 and a half my sophomore year. I got into drugs, lost friends, lost family, cut myself, thought about suicide, got in fights, blacked out, crashed hard, overdosed, attempted suicide, fought with my family and friends, hung with the worst crowd, did things I'm not proud of, and got in trouble with the school && the law && my friends && my family... Needless to say I was probably the worst influence anyone could have. I ditched school so much my freshmen year that I was only in one of my classes 17 times... Bad things happened when we ditched school, hospital visits and being stopped by cops were semi common. We thought we were invincible and had the stupidest "No one can touch us, so fuck it lets do it all" kind of attitude. Down to try anything if we could get it for free or close to free, we drank, smoked, toked, snorted, sniffed, fryed, baked, popped pills, pretty much anything. We had 2 rules; 1. Always use the buddy system && 2. NO METH!!
We partied hard and had no worries && not a fucking care in the world. To be completely honest I don't remember a lot of my high school years.
Freshmen year: The beginning of the void
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Its all a bit fuzzy. I remember bits and pieces. Sometimes I have dreams about it that are so real I wonder if they are actually flashbacks. I know that when I started doing drugs I stopped cutting myself. I know I hardly ever went to school for more then a few hours and I spent a lot of time at the park and the river. My family situation has always been on a down hill spiral out of control. I couldn't talk to my parents and the only family members I confided in were my brother and my aunt. I lost and gained friends all the time, most of the time over stupid stuff and the worst part was that since we were always on something we did stuff that we shouldn't and wouldn't of done. When I did go to school all day I had in school suspension which sucked. When I had to stay at school I would take some vicodin or endocet and crush some and put them in a tin so I could snort in ed lab. I'd start my day with a few and have some whenever I needed it throughout the day. Well, I figured out that my drug problem was getting expensive because of my tolerance to my favorites, I needed more and more to get up to the level i wanted to be at and stay there. So I started to sell some of my least favorites, muscle relaxers and downers and all my different ADHD drugs. I'm glad I never got caught at school cause I would have been fucked. I sold to my friends and gained a reputation for having what you needed if what you needed was drugs.
Summer Time: And the living was wasted.
I have no clue what went on that summer. I woke up strange places with strange people. Our motto for this summer was "If you don't black out, you didn't really party hardy" We would start the party by telling each other "I'll see you in the morning" because thats what happened, even though we were together all night in the morning it was like we just got together.
Sophomore Year: My first real crash.
My best friend in the whole world ran away from home. and so the trouble with cops starts. They came to my house and pulled me out of class they stopped me on the streets and ran my name every chance they got. Yes I knew where she was, DUH, she's my best friend. I mouthed off when they talked to me and asked the same stupid questions; "Do you know where she is?", "Are you with holding information?", "Do you know its a crime to with hold information?", "How do you know shes safe?", blah blah blah... well they finally figured it out and she had to come home. this is when it got bad. I remember one other thing from sophomore year... My first experience with meth... Before you judge you must know that it was not on purpose. Me and my best friend were in the park like usual and tokin and drinkin and snortin, like usual. and these guys came and joined us && asked if we could match them a bowl so we did. Well we figured they were asking because they had shitty pot cause it was like bud shake. so when we tasted it and it tasted odd we just figured it was shitty shake. It wasn't... It was laced with meth. enough meth that for the next couple days we had the chills, shakes, hot flashes, fevers, cold sweats it was like we were dying. Now that I have experienced meth willingly (we will get to that later) I realize that not only was it laced with meth but most likely other things as well. Our 2 day crash was made worse by the fact that since her return we had cop visits everyday at school to make sure we were there. So we had to go to school and deal with being around teachers and students while feeling like our body's were shutting down and we were dying. it sucked.
Summer Time: I did what? With who?
This was my black out summer, meaning I only remember what other people have told me. This summers motto was "I don't remember it, it didn't happen" and we lived by that.
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